Feeling Lost

I'm at my first job. My manager doesn't talk to me and I very quickly got handed two projects to manage, which I quickly found out was overwhelming. Things have been especially bad in the last three months. I haven't had a single 1:1 with my manager during this entire job and I reached a breaking point a few weeks ago and finally reached out to him. I accidentally cried during that meeting. It was embarrassing. I expressed how much I was struggling managing both projects and my manager said he would start 1:1s. He never did.

Currently, my manager has realized that my management of the second project is not up to his standards (after three months) and it finally pushed him to start those 1:1s.

During this whole process I have been venting to my coworkers about how frustrating it is. I really struggled to talk to my manager because he had basically never met with me once for the two years I've been here. He also doesn't work on any of the projects that I manage, so he didn't see how much I struggled.

I feel really discouraged at work. I know I took on a lot as a newbie and I'm proud of the effort I put in. I feel really embarrassed for venting to my coworkers, I feel like it's unprofessional and I'm going to stop doing that. I also feel really embarrassed that I cried in front of my manager, I feel like it was a terrible "first" impression after two years.

I'm looking for some validation that everything will be ok. I feel like I have terribly messed up at my first job, and I've lost credibility and legitimacy. I had a very optimistic view of how my career would go -- I would be cool, calm, collected. But instead I have cried so many times and felt unsupported by my manager and I feel like I've nuked my professional relationships. I just feel incredibly embarrassed by my behavior and I want to apologize to all of my coworkers for how much time I've taken up venting in the past three months.