Finally cutting brother off.

Probably grab some snacks and a drink, this will be a long one lol. My heart is pounding typing this all out, so I apologise if it's a bit messy. Every time I think about this it makes me mad...and I just realised I should probably book a psych appointment to go over it all. Thanks Reddit!

First off, the family dynamics. I (35enby) am the oldest of four. However, not all of my siblings are related to each other. My biological parents are Mum (deceased) and B (and he's a post of his own). They also had my little ex-brother A who is 33 (the subject of this post the useless little-) before getting divorced. Mum then married my Dad, and they had my baby sister M (yes, she's 27, but she's still a baby to me). B abandoned us for 9 years before I got in contact with him when I was 18, and somewhere in there he met C (who I love) and they had my other sister N (who is turning 21 in May which I am not coping with little siblings should not be allowed to grow up). Confused yet? Good.

So I grew up with Mum, Dad, A and M. A was always Mum's favourite (I could get M on the phone now and ask "Who's the favourite" and she would immediately say A) because he was the middle child like her (Mum was the victim of child abuse from our Nan) and because he was the only boy. M was Dad's favourite because she's his only biological child, but Dad was no where near as bad with M as Mum was with A. Me? I'm just the built-in babysitter/extra parent. A was always the problem child, fighting with Dad a LOT (lots of physical confrontations) and basically being allowed to walk all over me (so many times I had to physically bar him from coming into my room because I was tired and wanted time to myself - and I'm the one who got in trouble for upsetting him. I still get nightmares of people trying to break into my room and who won't get out).

When I was a teen Mum went back to University so I got stuck taking care of my siblings (including having to take M on sleepovers at friends places...argh! To M's credit, she acknowledges that this was a step too far). A though would always go out of his way to make my life difficult. He knew that even though I was responsible for everything my siblings did, I had zero authority over them and he used this a lot to his advantage. He also started to develop a complex where he was better than everyone else, worked harder than everyone else and had life harder than everyone else.

A started talking down to me a lot, treating me like I knew nothing about life and like I was an idiot, while at the same time constantly hitting me up for money or a lift somewhere. This continued to when he met his ex and she had his son R back in 2016 (how time flies). I was there for him when they broke up (because of his alcohol abuse and him hitting her), which he still never appreciated. He would still insult and belittle me at every opportunity he got, especially when I came out as non-binary.

Now, I was raised to protect my little siblings at all costs, but I was getting sick and tired of setting myself on fire to keep him warm. He's since gone completely off the rails since Mum died in 2020 (cancer) including losing jobs (failing a drug test) and racking up over $15k in drug and gambling debts that Dad had to pay off for him. The last time I spoke to the little turd, he had a full on swearing fit because I couldn't help him with PayPal (I barely even use it).

This all culminated into what happened on Friday. Dad has had most of Mums ashes (we all got some) and we arranged to fly to Adelaide (the last place Mum lived) on Good Friday to release a degradable turtle with her ashes into the ocean to set her on her much-wanted round-the-world trip (she loved the ocean). Dad paid for all the airfares and our motel (we got a room each) because even though I'm not Dads biological child, he's still my Dad and he likes treating us. Woohoo, business class! We organised this about a month or so out from the date, and Dad rang us constantly to make sure we all knew the itinerary and where we had to be.

Now, for context, I live in Brisbane, Australia, and Dad/M/A all live out west, a 2-hour drive away. So, the plan was I was to pick up M on Thursday (we did a lot of trauma bonding on the trip), bring her to Brisbane so that first thing Friday we could fly out to Adelaide from the Brisbane Airport (and go to the footy Friday night...shame the Lions lost but we still had fun). Friday morning comes around, and our flight is at 8.45am. We get to the airport just before 7am and decide to call A to see where he is so we can check in together. He was still in bed, 2 hours away, so it was impossible for him to make the flight. He also then had the AUDACITY to ask Dad for more money so he could go get drunk because he was "upset he was going to miss saying goodbye to Mum".

Guys, I swear at this point I was absolutely done with him. I told both M and Dad to never tell him to ask me for help again, because I have blocked his number and his socials from ever contacting me again. This was SO preventable and the fact that he had the nerve to ask for more money from Dad just sealed it for me. When we got home (he at least managed to be at the airport to take M back home) I just ignored him completely and now refuse to even acknowledge him.

I don't have a brother anymore. Honestly, I feel like I never had a brother. He's now got his wish to be the oldest sibling, because he now no longer has an older sibling. The worst part is something Mum said to me before she died - "You know I blame you for how A turned out." I haven't even gone into the number of times he stole money from me/Mum and Dad over the years.

Probably not the worst story on here, but I just had to get it out. The hilarious thing? A hates B (the biological father, remember) but is exactly like B - hurtful, an alcoholic and just a trash human being.

Thank you for reading/letting me get this off my chest. I hope you're all able to escape your trash siblings too.