How do I improve my relationship?

I (22m) have been in a a long distance relationship dating my GF (22F).

Background: I've been friends with my now (20f) GF for on and off across a period of 3 years. We meet in 2021, worked together and she left later that year at which point we stopped talking. In 2022 her dad died to cancer and she blames herself. She was in an abusive relationship with her EX of 3 years, which ended in January. She's been homeless, abused (sexually and virtually), she has no real IRL friends. She's got a few online friends. She's depressed and suicidal, she's got self worth issues, and I think she is bipolar (it runs in the family and she's undiagnosed). She also got her inheritance from her father drained by her abusive EX BF, and her mother is out of the picture (she hates her mother). She's lived with her EX till he kicked her out of the house. She went home to home till she ended up with her half brothers dad in may of 2024. In January she reached out and we formed a friendship. Febuary of 2024 she was flriting with me and multiple men. I atopped talking with her late febuary and we started talking again the end of april 2024. She was in a relationship from febuary to July with another guy (he broke up with her). Also she actively calls herself a whore, but she really isn't anymore. She was in a not so healthy relationship and has never had a healthy kne before me. Her EX of 3 years beat her and raped her. Her EX of 4 months (febuary to july) never had time for her and never communicated with her about much of anything. She'd always complain to me how bad her life is and how much it sucks. She'd tell me how suicidal she is and how she almost killed herself 3 times in the past year.

I got with her back in August 4th of 2024. We have been dating for months.

So basically I tried to fly her out to visit me in July and I couldn't make it work despite having the flight booked we delayed. Surprisingly that cloud flair thing happened and we found out she would've been stuck for over a day anyways so it worked out. August was very busy month for me but we kept talking about her flying out, but it never happened because I couldn't make it work. Same thing September and now October. She's been very frustrated and I fully understand why. She wants to leave Kentucky and come visit, and eventually live with me in new york. My parents have been not happy with me doing it, I still live at home, but I've been trying to make it work. Next chance will be Thanksgiving for next month.

We've been slowly drifting apart from August to now. I’ve had medical issues and stuff, but all long term things. I've been trying to help her with her depression and I really want to be with her but the last two fights we've had have been terrible on me.

Basically on October 6th she reconnected with her ex, and she'd been talking with him again. We had matching PFP's for weeks, and after she started talking with him again she suddenly wanted to change off our matching PFP's and she than did. She also was in a discord server we both share and she was renaming herself to "EX is short". I got upset and I confronted her about it and just shut down for 10 minutes. When I came back she told me she'd been changing her name for all her friends apparently, and she wanted to change her PFP as she was getting sick of sticking with a single matching one. Ofc I apologied and everything and gave her a college essay because I felt terrible I basically was implying I didn't trust her to be friends with her EX. I understood what I did was wrong and we didn't talk the rest of the day. She ghosted me despite me trying to offer my apology and tell her it was an honestly slip up. We started talking again that night and it was smooth sailing. But from that moment on she stopped referring to me as her BF to her half family (she'd refer to be as her friend), she stopped drinking out of the "I love you mug", and we only watched movies, we wouldn't play any games, she got noticeably distant, I'd have to message her and she'd rarely start the conversation first, but it was kinda shaky sailing. We were fine till last Thursday I got in trouble at work, than again on Friday, just in time for me to get in trouble with my parents Friday night (she flashed her ass on camera infront of my conservative mother). I vented to her a bit about it, and she was very caring and understanding. I actually told her I wanted to get therapy, partly because work said my behavior has been changed the past 5 weeks or so (due to me not liking my employer anymore due to unfair treatment). She ended up leaving our VC last night as she wanted to spend time alone, but I saw she sat in a vc with her friends for hours afterwords, I asked her if she was upset with me and she said no. This morning I pushed her a little as I wanted to have open communications to talk with her. She asked me immediately when I was getting therapy and my response was "well, I can't exactly do it tomorrow, but I will be looking into it", and that's when she told me she almost broke up two weeks ago about the trust issue, and she gave me a list of issues he had (mostly flights being delayed, me not standing up for myself with my parents, how I sometimes talk about wanting therapy but never do it, etc). I thanked her for the communication and told her I would try to do better so we can have a healthy lasting relationship. I scheduled an appointment to speak with a therapist. I basically took the blame for all of our relationship issues. She was incredibly frustrated at me, and I know why and I said I wanted to make it right so I asked how I could make it right.

During the last 10 hours she has yet to respond to me but has marked my messages as read. She's been playing games with friends and just avoiding me. I feel terrible like I've been stone walled for trying to communicate with her. It just feels like I've been taking all of the blame. I want to communicate with her unlike her EX'S as that's always been her #1 complaint with them. But when I try to be better and communicate she doesn't communicate back. I think she might break up with me. I've spoken with a few friends about it today and all of them are telling me to RUN. But I've been trying to help her the best I can, I really like her and I want to be with her, but it's been taking a toll on my mental and physical health. It was just a huge blow when she is just stone walling me. I thought I was doing better than her abusive ex's by not being abusive, and trying to be super comforting, caring, and loving. She's told me time and time again she isn't used to a non-abusive and a caring BF that actively wants to spend time with her.

I'm sitting here with no idea if or how to save our relationship. I have flight tickets already booked for November for her to visit a week, but I had all these plans to reveal them and everything along with the full itinerary on our aniversay the 4th of next month. I told her twice this past month I had flight tickets booked and that I had a supprise for her on our aviversay next month.

I can cancel the flight as it's a refundable fair. But I don't know if I can save this relationship as it really feels like she isn't trying right now. Normally she's very loving and caring, but the past 4-ish weeks it's been very rough. The past 2 weeks has been unremarkable rough and I hate it how she doesn't talk and how I've found myself taking the blame. I hate it how she refers to me as her friend to her family, how we don't play games anymore. How she stopped texting me in the morning and at night. I always wish her a good morning and a good night but she never texts me it back. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.

Here's my questions. 1. How can I save this relationship? 2. What can I do to be a better partner? 3. How can I talk to my GF and let her know how I feel without risking getting stonewalling again?