Anybody have a narcissistic parent that was more quietly abusive?

Mine is what I'd call more covert, rather than being overt. Such as emotional neglect, dismissing achievements, never asks me questions about myself, puts herself first in every decision, never apologises, lacks empathy, manipulative, two faced, has a massive victim complex, only met my physical needs, never validated how I feel, acts much more loving when people are watching, makes me feel like a horrible person if I say something she did hurt me etc. I've never felt like a person or good around her. She's never outwardly done stuff that you can easily call her out on, like hit or call vicious names etc. It really messes with my head sometimes because it's subtle so I end up doubting my sanity. She puts on this charming and warm persona with people so they think she's this innocent sweet lady.