How do I avoid becoming just like them.

I’ve been doing a little research in generational trauma and I find it sad how trauma just keeps repeating itself. It’s made me a little paranoid about turning into them when I get older. I want to avoid that at all costs. But I already know I have some traits from my mom. For example she neglected me really bad growing up. And that’s the reason I don’t have kids because I am also neglectful and can’t take care of things when I’m depressed. Then I see my dad who is making terrible decisions with his life and mine unfortunately and I’m scared I’ll be just like him. Like what makes me so different from all my other relatives who failed to break the cycle of abuse. I’m just kinda surprised I’m as “normal” as I am.