I made a huge mistake with my 4-month-puppy—how can I regain his trust?

I have a 4-month-old English Cocker Spaniel, and up until today, house training was going great. He was consistently going outside, knew “come,” “place,” and even played fetch. I had a strict routine, and I’ve read a lot about positive reinforcement training. He loved me, followed me everywhere, and was always so excited to see me.

Unfortunately, today I made a terrible mistake, and I feel absolutely awful about it.

I took him out to potty four times (down four flights of stairs), but he wouldn’t go. I had to take an urgent work call and, thinking he’d be fine, I let him free roam (mistake #1). When I finished my call and stepped out, I accidentally stepped on his poop, slipped, fell hard, and hurt my elbow.

Out of frustration, pain, and shock—and the fact that I was in pain and covered in poo—I completely lost control. I yelled at him, grabbed him tightly, and put his nose near the accident while shouting “No!”—something I know is completely wrong. The moment I did it, I realized my mistake. My puppy ran away and hid under the bed.

What’s making me feel even worse is that during the accident, I think I may have caused him some pain. I didn’t hit him, but I grabbed him too roughly in the heat of the moment, and now I’m terrified that I hurt him emotionally and physically.

That was six hours ago, and ever since, he has been avoiding me—hiding under the bed or in his crate. He won’t come when called, barely eats, and has no energy. The worst part is, when I tried to approach him earlier, he even peed himself out of fear. I feel completely heartbroken. I’ve been giving him space, letting him free roam, and trying not to pressure him, but I feel devastated. I love my puppy more than anything, and I hate that I made him feel unsafe.

I know I messed up. I know punishment is wrong. I just want to rebuild our trust and avoid a longterm trauma. What can I do to help him feel safe with me again? Will he ever forgive me? Any advice is truly appreciated.

And just to be clear—if your comment is aimed at making me feel bad about this, just know I already feel like shit.

edit: My puppy has forgiven me ❤️

First, thank you all for your amazing tips and support. I took many of your recommendations, and about an hour after my post, my puppy came to me. We went for a long walk, and he’s back to being his loving, happy self. I’m beyond relieved and grateful.

I’ve learned a valuable lesson from this, and I’ll make sure frustration never gets the better of me again.