Feeling Conflicted as a New Grad

So when I was about 3 months away from graduating, I felt stressed about finding a job because I have a family that I need to support. I had a relationship with an orthopedic practice in my area, but they had recently hired a new PA and weren't looking to add to the practice anymore. Knowing that, I decided to start applying for jobs, and I ended up finding a neurosurgery job. It seemed like a good deal, and the work is extremely interesting (more brain than spine, with a focus on movement disorders).

This neurosurgery job is at an academic center, and the offer is 108k base salary with a potential 11% productivity bonus based off the base salary (so about 12k) and a 6k sign-on bonus. I would be working with one specific surgeon who is seriously amazing, and the office feels extremely family friendly and has very little drama. The schedule is M-F 8-5 (I would do clinic by myself 2 days/week, with the doctor 2 days/week, and 1 day for administrative work unless i was pulled to cover a different surgeon). There is no call, no weekends, and very little OR time. The PTO is 15 day, $1500 CME/7 days, and 3 weeks maternity leave after 1 year. I have to get credentialed, which would take 3 months. They told me they would be able to let me come to work and be paid like a PA in the mean time, but then came back and said they can't do that. They offered to employ me as an MA to train as a PA, but the pay would obviously be MA pay ($15.25/hr). It's also about an hour and a half, and I'm not sold on the idea of moving immediately as my daughter is in school and my husband has a great job where we are now, so that leaves me to commute until we decide if this is the job for our family.

To finish school, I spent 2 1/2 months with the orthopedic clinic (private practice with 14 surgeons, 5 APPs) in my town, and long story short, they offered me a position after the new PA they hired quit. This job was what I envisioned I would be doing before/during PA school, and I have a great relationship with the PAs/NP there. All the doctors were extremely complimentary of me while I rotated with them, and they all seemed to want me there. They offered 80k base salary with call pay and RVU bonuses. Call is every 6th weekend, one day/week, and the after hours clinic every 5th weekend (11am-2pm Friday, 8-11am Saturday). They cover 2 hospitals during call. The base pay caps at 100k after 5 years, and there are no raises after that point. Everyone basically does surgery every day with a 1/2 day of clinic per week, so the schedule is not very predictable. They go between 2 hospitals and 4 surgery centers, and everyone is expected to work together to make sure all the surgeries are covered. There is no maternity leave, but they start at 3 weeks PTO, $3000 CME/5 days, and pay for health insurance. The current APPs are all capped and make ~160k/year. I would have to obviously be credentialed by insurance, but they were willing to have me start immediately at $40/hr. All the docs have to agree before I can begin taking call/doing surgery without another PA/having my own clinic, which would likely take 3-6 months. I asked them to consider 90k base salary, and they flat out refused. I basically told them that's what I would need, or I would be taking the job offer I had with neurosurgery. They did not come to a majority to approve the increase in base pay, so we parted ways (on good terms).

They have been looking for someone ever since (about a month), and I have been told they have exhausted their options. They have posted the job on Indeed at this point, but they do not seem to have any interest. I am torn because I feel like I should reach out and see if they would reconsider now, but I just don't know if the answer will be any different. I have told the Neurosurgery job I will have to think about whether I would be willing to work for $15.25/hr for 3 months during the credentialing process while also driving 3 hours every day.

If you've made it this far, please let me know if I was just being prideful and stupid to say no to the ortho job in the first place and if I should reach out now. Or if I should just let that go and commit to the Neurosurgery job.

(I live in a rural LCOL area in the south.)