Im 30 and im finally enjoying my sexuality

I've suffer tons of abuse since I was a child and when i turned 18 i chose to abuse myself by having multiple sexual partners, people that didn't care about me, abused me and never felt good at all. Now i understand that i was taught sex was the way to relate with people. At 20 yo i found the guy i married, who also abused me at the end, but the first 8 years were great. I divorced him cause I finally said no to any abuse. Now i've found a partner who's teaching me love and to enjoy sex, without any bad feelings about it. No more guilt and I finally know how's it like to have an orgasm lol ♥