I think I cracked the code!!!
Hey mamas,
I’m a first-time mom to an almost 3-month-old boy, and let me tell you… the first few weeks were HELL. I was drowning. He cried ALL. THE. TIME. He had colic, his latch was terrible, and I was waking up every two hours because his feeds would take over an hour, and then he’d be hungry again in no time. I was so sleep-deprived and overwhelmed, I genuinely thought about hiring a nanny just to survive.
My husband? He’s been a rock through it all, but let’s be real, there’s only so much he can do when I’m the one feeding the baby.
But then… I started noticing patterns. And through a ton of trial and error (and some ugly crying), I think I cracked the code. Ready?
Sleep = More sleep.
Yep, the more naps my baby gets during the day, the longer he sleeps at night. I know people think keeping a baby up during the day will tire them out and they’ll sleep better at night. NOPE, NOPE, NOPE. That is SO not true. Overtired babies are just cranky little gremlins who refuse to sleep.
Here’s what worked for us:
- Breastfeeding on demand during the day- I aim for 6-7 feeds, about every 2-3 hours. This keeps him full and happy.
- Wake windows- At this age, my baby can handle about 45 minutes to an hour of being awake before he starts rubbing his eyes or yawning. During that time, we play, do tummy time, sing, or just chill together. The moment I see those sleepy cues, I get him down for a nap.
- Contact naps are a lifesaver- My baby naps best when I’m holding him under a high-speed fan. (I know, babies are weird.) This won’t work for everyone, but the key is finding what soothes your baby.
I make sure he naps a total of 5-6 hours during the day, spread across multiple naps.
Our nighttime routine:
We aim for a bedtime between 9-10 pm. During the wake window before bed, I make sure he’s super stimulated—singing, stretching, massaging, and playing. Then I feed him one last time, and he usually falls asleep on the boob. My husband swaddles him, burps him, and puts him in his crib.
We’ve been doing this for about 3 weeks now, and he’s sleeping from 10 pm to 6:30-7:00 am. Sometimes he’ll wake up around 3-4 am, but that’s still a MASSIVE improvement.
How do I know this method works?
A couple of weeks ago, I had to leave him with my in-laws for a few days. They love him, but their idea of “helping” was keeping him active all day, singing to him, and trying to get him to nap in his crib. He barely napped, and when he did, it was for like 15-20 minutes. Those nights? He was up multiple times and was a cranky mess.
Once I got back and returned to our routine, he started sleeping through the night again.
I know this post is a novel, but I wanted to share because I know how brutal those first weeks can be. I was on Reddit at 3 am, desperately searching for advice, so if this helps even one mom, it’s worth it.
Parenthood is hard, and I’m still figuring it out, but this little discovery has been a game-changer for us. Hang in there, mamas—you’ve got this! ❤️