Is my hair/style really that bad?

Hi! It's so good to have this group.

I think I've been subject to something best described as 'cishet beauty standards'. A few months ago I was told by strangers on Reddit that my hair 'isn't doing me any favors' and that I should get a tan and wear brighter colours to look 'less severe'. Oh, and apparently the hair ages me up by decades, so I look more like a sixty-year-old than the 32 I actually am.

I don't think it's actually that bad and maybe they just expect female-coded people to have long hair, but it still got me doubting my looks and style. I make conscious choices to wear clothes I feel good in (that often means button up shirts and minimal to no makeup) and it feels unfair to be judged by a standard that just doesn't consider queer people.

What do you think: should I change my hair or style somehow? If I keep it this way, do you think it will affect dating or meeting new people in a negative way?

Hi! It's so good to have this group.

I think I've been subject to something best described as 'cishet beauty standards'. A few months ago I was told by strangers on Reddit that my hair 'isn't doing me any favors' and that I should get a tan and wear brighter colours to look 'less severe'. Oh, and apparently the hair ages me up by decades, so I look more like a sixty-year-old than the 32 I actually am.

I don't think it's actually that bad and maybe they just expect female-coded people to have long hair, but it still got me doubting my looks and style. I make conscious choices to wear clothes I feel good in (that often means button up shirts and minimal to no makeup) and it feels unfair to be judged by a standard that just doesn't consider queer people.

What do you think: should I change my hair or style somehow? If I keep it this way, do you think it will affect dating or meeting new people in a negative way?