I desire, to have never been born

I don't know why, I just do. I hate life. I hate challenges. I hate how all I have received in life are challenges and failure and rarely anything sweet. I hang by the gate of local trains, wind slapping on my face. It's night time, the distant lights of some faraway street, cars containing people who has surpassed the same challenges that I failed. I inhale the smell of water and mud, humid air. I take off my glasses and wonder how people can make a living in this messy world. Why does the world have to be a rat race? Why are there so many people alive, making it hard for other people to be alive?

Why am I alive?