I buy expensive stuff when it gets unbearable.

The rate at which I spend money scares me. I feel like I have nothing else besides Harleys. I feel horrid that I keep dipping into my savings to buy vehicles when I live in a near empty apartment. I only make 45k a year. I just bought a $5k motorcycle in October, and now I'm thinking about spending three grand on another one, really just for that dopamine hit. I always put money into them too, thousands usually.

When I ride, it doesn't help anymore because it supposed to be fun but it isn't. I'm ready to quit grad school again, so I'm going to submit what I have of my literature review, then I'm going to stop going to class since she doesn't take attendance. 

IDK. Buying stuff, YouTube, jerking off, and vehicles are the only things that give me any semblances of happiness. I'm really, really tempted to run to the bank and pull out a few grand cash and buy a little Harley Sportster.