Update: Gf (24F) called out her best friend's (24M) name while in bed with me (23M). I'm not sure how to feel?

Original: https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/s/sHQLIWtCa5

Sorry this update took so long.

Firstly, we're still together. Most of you were right when you said they must have more history, as I found out. I gave her one chance to tell me if there was more to their relationship, and if I found out she lied from that point on that we'd be done.

I then asked to see her phone, which she offered up, and found texts from the month of meeting her, where he expressed his love for her in very clear terms, multiple times, as well as stuff dating back years before that, it seemed like a very will-they-wont-they relationship.

It seems she was the one that shut him down in the end in favour of pursuing me. Despite this, I'm now too uncomfortable with their relationship and closeness, and am of the opinion that there definitely were feelings there in the past, even if not now.

There's no real way to know if it was just a slip of the tongue or she really was fantasising about him. I know which is more likely, and while my trust in her is now at zero after finding out she initially hid this from me and then lied about it, I love her too much to leave over this, especially when I'm sure there's been no actual infidelity as far as I'm aware.

I have faith, and she seemed very concerned with easing my worries. Initially, I just asked she cut down communication to group outings, but she has opted to cut him off entirely for now. I've told her it's full honesty and transparency now, and I'll accept nothing less until she can make me feel secure in us, and the fact that she's all in on our relationship.

I also laid out that we would NEVER be moving in with them, I'd never be able to rest peacefully with it, and that in future, she still can't see him unless I'm also present. She accepted all of these terms with no push back. It's unfortunate that we share friendship groups with him and his gf, so we'd always run into him eventually.

I'm still incredibly anxious, but I'm hopeful that I've made the right choice and not the biggest mistake of my life. I guess I'll see.

Edit: a comment or asked me what the sketchy behaviour I'd seen in past was, so here it is copied:

I found out she had an old onlyfans that she lied about, previously telling me she'd never had one. When I pressed, she said she never actually activated it, but I then found messages of her sending the profile to people to buy her content. This was well before I met her, but it's the lying that stings.

When she started a new job, she was incredibly quiet about it. Anytime I asked about her day or shift, it was always "oh boring, nothing happened, no funny moments or anything". This went on for maybe 2 months, and during this time she would sometimes complain about not having enough friends, then I happened to see a name I didn't recognise on her snapchat when looking myself up to send some pictures over. He was third on her best friend's list, so I know they chatted often. I checked when they added each other, a week after starting the job.

Curious, I asked about it, and she just said "oh, he's just a friend from work we've gotten quite close since I started there". Now I have had no issue with her making friends of any gender before this, but again the worry came from the fact that I'd never heard of this person, in months of asking about how her day's have been she never once thought to bring up her new close friend. She claims they only became close after talking about each other's relationships as he has a gf too.

There's 2-3 other instances that spring to mind in total, but these are the most recent. When we talked, she feigned ignorance and forgetfulness on these two topics, saying she just didn't think it was a big deal. She eventually came round and was apologetic and promised to do better. I'm holding out my hopes on this 'better', but I pray she's at least seen her errors.

I've always, from the very start, been vocal about honesty and open communication and always believed we were on the same page, until recently. I've always been entirely open whenever she had a concern and explained every detail to ease her mind, yet it seems like she's just been feeding me the bare minimum to deceive me, then claiming she's just forgetful when questioned on inconsistencies.

This all makes me sound like a damn fool reading it back, but yet I still want to stay.