The boy who cried wolf

I’ll now be going into my third biopsy for a completely separate cancer suspicion. My first was positive for sarcoma cancer and then my second was negative for lymphoma. Now I’ll be entering this biopsy for concerns of breast cancer. With my past surgeries, my appointment have always been scheduled in month or two. Now with this one, it will happen within the next week or two. At the beginning of this week, I was told I was totally fine. Now at the end of the week I’m told I have 5 suspicious lesions between both my breast. It’s all going so fast I can’t process it properly.

I’ve had a lot mixed feelings communicating that I now have to go through this again with my family friends and community. Largely because now I feel much like the title of this vent, the boy who cried wolf. I feel like I’m attention seeking, lying, almost an imposter. I keep having to re read my health records to even see if this is really a concern. I’ve only really told my parents and my immediate family. My husband yet again has to take time off work for what could potentially be nothing. Working everyone in my life up over something that might not even be cancer. My daughter starts school in next week . Now we have to take her out of her first week because I need to go to the hospital and do not have child care near her school. Everyone has to disrupt and pause their life because of me. Everyone has their days potential saddened because of me. This whole journey has been been a fever dream. I wish I could talk to someone about it but right now I feel so guilty I’m putting people in this situation again. Vent over.