Difficulty being gay and Christian?

My husband and I (both 29M) were raised religious. He was raised Catholic and I was raised ambiguously Protestant. We both still believe in God and recently found a church to go to regularly.

Don’t get me wrong, we aren’t “trad gays” or perfect Christians. We have an open marriage, and sometimes we do drugs. We just also believe in God and enjoy that relationship.

I’m also not claiming any sense of religious persecution for being Christian - those people are stupid. However from both sides, it’s a difficult intersection of being both gay and Christian.

Our friends, liberal and some gay, mock us all the time for going to church and believing in God. It’s fine to a point, but also feels like they don’t respect our beliefs sometimes. My gay brother (35M) tells me to my face all the time that God isn’t real and that I’m stupid for following a religion that has historically attacked who I am.

I’m also not stupid, I know that religion has no hard evidence, and that if I had been born into a different household I would have likely believed something else. But also, if it makes me feel good to believe in something bigger, why yuck my yum, you know? I like the thought of God and know I can’t be 100% sure He exists, but I do believe he does. I’m not 100% sure of anything honestly.

But at the same time, from the Christian side, I don’t know how much we will be accepted. We sit together at church, and people are very friendly, but do they know we are together? Are they hopeful they can change that? Who is being real nice and who is being fake nice? The people who don’t talk to us, are they doing that because they are homophobic? If we did make friends, what would they do if they found out we were in an open marriage? Those questions all come to mind when at church because we have both had experiences with Christians that have made us distrust them.

I don’t know what I’m looking for here - advice, words of encouragement, just some empathy? I will say I’m not looking for anyone trying to dissuade my Christianity. Please don’t come here with that.

Thanks yall.