I wanna clean up my relationship.

Problem/Goal: This is very long so I hope you have time

Context: Nabuntis Ako (F, 27) ng fuck buddy ko na si John (M, 30). 1st month of pregnancy I mentioned to him na kahit hindi nya akuin yung bata maiintindihan ko. Kasi I have a bestfriend Richard (G, 32) Who's willing to be a father. Pero sabi ni John aakuin nya yung bata at ipapakilala nya ako sa family nya as Girlfriend. This is the start of my nightmare.

Brief Background ng relationship ko with Richard. We've been friends since 2015. He was single, gay, and happy. The problem is his family follows an old chinese tradition. Walang paki alam yung family nya na gay sya. As long as makapag produce sya ng next generation ng family nila. The thing with this bitch is he is a soft hearted woman. He adopted 4 children (2Boys, 2Gays Now Ages: 25, 22, 18, 9) long story din yung adopted kids nya. Pero alam nila na magkaibigan lang kami ni Richard pero tinatawag nila akong "Mommy". So wala talaga syang 'BiologicalSon' na iaalay sa family nya.

To the story: Nung ipinakilala ako ni John sa family nya. They demand proof. Na paano ako nabuntis. Gusto nila ipa paternity test yung bata. May kaya kasi sa buhay tong family ni John. At ang thinking nila peperahan ko lang si John. Worst thing nag agree si John na ipa paternity test yung bata. Ang sakit na di nya ako kaya ipagtanggol that time. Di ako umiyak sa harap nila pero pag uwi ko, doon na ako nag broke down. I received money from his family para sa check up and everything. Dahil sa pandemic isa ako sa nawalan ng trabaho kaya nilunok ko na lang lahat ng sasabihin nila hanggang sa pakunti kunting na lilift yung lockdown. Nakapag hanap naman ako ulit ng trabaho.

7months of pregnancy nabutas yung panubigan ko. at 7months na din ako ginagambala ng family nya na ipa paternity test yung bata. Sa stress sakanila manganganak ako ng maaga. Nasa ACE Hospital ako nung sumunod si John sa hospital. pero di nga kami kayang tanggapin dahil sa taas ng cases ng covid wala silang room to accommodate me. So naghanap kami ng ibang hospital more than 24 hours na kaming nag tatanong tanong pero hirap silang tumanggap dahil sa covid cases. Itong si John dahil inaatok na nag decide sya na umuwi na lang at iniwan nya ako sa isang hospital. Binigyan nya din ako ng pera incase of emergency daw. Ngayon ano gagawin ko.? Walang public transpo, wala akong sasakyan. Nag request ako ng ambulance to transport me from one hospital to another. 3rd day of labor wala paring tumatanggap sa akin nag message si Richard "Beb, nanganak ka na daw sabi ng kapatid mo" so sabi ko "tawag ka, beb" at pinaliwag ko sakanya ano nangyari sa akin. Dinala nya ako sa Taguig-Pateros Hospital this is a public hospital. Nagulat ako na tatanggapin nila ako pero since mataas ang case ng covid limited and Incubator sa NICU. Pinapirma ako ng waiver na between mother and daughter. They will prioritize the life of the mother. Ayaw ko. Pero sabi ni Richard na sumugal na kami at mas lalong di nya kaya kapag pati ako nawala. Luckily lumaban yung anak ko for me. And she doesn't even need an incubator pero nabigyan parin sya as hospital policy.

1 and a half year old yung anak ko. I got family problem. At pinag bantaan na papatayin kami. Natakot ako sa safery ng anak ko. Unfortunately at this time wala si Richard sa PH. So nakiusap ako kay John na kunin muna yung bata for safety. He accepted it. In one condition, yep "Paternity Test". So I agreed. And sana naging sampal sakanila yung result 😒

3years old na yung bata at nasakanya parin natatakot akong kunin kasi maganda ang buhay ng bata doon. Saan kayo makakakita ng 3 years old may Gucci, Channel na damit. Ayaw kong mawala yung magandang buhay sa anak ko kaya tiniis ko at umiiyak na lang ako magisa. Na open up ko kay Richard yung problem ko and sabi nya "try mo tumira doon. Malay mo maging okay ka para araw araw mo makita yung bata". Pero eto nanaman makakasama ko na ung family nya. Totoo araw araw ko kasama yung anak ko pero araw araw din ako almusal ng mga tsismosa sa labas. Pulutan sa inuman. Tapos yung kada kilos ko babantayan. I do my part a mother pero tangina lahat ku questionin. I suffered a 1 year for this pero John brush it of saying "yaan mo sila".

Nagkasakit yung anak ko hindi sinabi sa akin ni John. Sa family nya una sinabi. So sabi ng parents nya na "irresponsible" ako kasi di ko alam. FUCK I WAS AT WORK AND HE NEVER TOLD ME! tapos sinugod nila sa ospital. niresetahan ng paracetamol. like... What's with you people? Anyway unang apo so... alam nyo na. Itong magaling na si John dahil ayaw inumin ng bata yung paracetamol. Hinalo nya sa gatas. Dahil akala nya dedein ng bata yung gatas kasama yung gamot. Nagalit ako na why can't you let me handle this !?

Living with them is hell as fuck. I even have suicidal thoughts na what if saksakin ko sarili ko sa harap nila. Tatanggapin nakaya nila ako. pPeo yayakapin lang ako ng anak ko magigising na ako.

4 years old na yung bata at wala syang binibring up na 'Kasal' so I thought baka wala naman talaga syang plano dahil nga sa family nya. I always asking him a ring a simple one kasi para walang manligaw sa akin. Pero I was really asking for marriage. Pero he brush off saying wala syang pera to do it. I keep on asking him like may plano ka ba? Until I get tired of it.

My daughter is a very sweet girl. I tell you she always on my side. She make sure I'm being protected. Hugs and kisses me when I cry. She always demad her father to give her to me. Ginising nya ako na di naman namin need ng magandang buhay maging masaya. And Im willing to let go this guy and the life his family can provide to my daughter. At this moment all I want is to be with my daughter. So I asked him to give my daughter back. We go down to negotiation that when the kid starts grade1 she will be in my side.

February 14, 2025 I had a date with Richard as per request ng mga anak nya. So I thought it was just kain sa labas. We gone to arcades, ice skating, bowling. You know normal for best friends. Pero binigyan nya ako ng flowers and gifts. During dinner eto na nga.. nag labas na sya ng singsing. Sabi nya "A promise ring, magkaroon tayo ng kasunduan" So he open a topic about marriage. So we set conditions na favor on both of us. Na kapag hindi na nangyari until certain deadline we will get married. We both also plan for future with our kids. He also open the topic to renovating his house for me and my daughter and for our future kid. And yes we finish na the night with a sex.

February 19, 2025, nag notif yung Flo app ko na I will have my period tomorrow. So I make sure I bring napkins and pantiliners on my bag before go to work. But nothing happen until now wala pa ang period ko. Which may sounds normal for some girls na ma delay ng 1 week. Tumawag ngayon si John sa akin asking kung pwede daw ba ako makausap. So sabi ko sige. He's worried about our relationship. Kasi napanaginipan nya daw ako. I'm with a guy. Kasama ko anak namin at may mas batang lalaki. I started to feel guilty about accepting this promise ring from Richard.

Now as of typing this yes wala parin akong period. And I feel guilty na gusto ko bawiin yung conditions at ibalik yung promise ring. Pero ang hirap ibalik kasi babalik nanaman ba ako na point na maghihintay kay John. Di ko na alam.