I just want someone to want me

I want someone to hug me and tell me everything will be okay. I want someone to hold my hand. I want someone to be there for me when I really need it. I want to be there for them too. I want to love someone and be loved back. I want to cuddle them feel safe. Why id that so much to ask for? I'm decently attractive and my girl friends say I'm a sweet guy but here I am single ad ever. Life has gotten so boring and meaningless. I live only because I don't want my friends and family to be sad, but I fantasize about dying a lot and I just lock myself in my room to get away from everything. I've been back in therapy for a bit but all that's happened there is I might be getting diagnosed with autism. I take 3 pills each night for my anxiety and depression, for most of the day I just feel numb. I laugh when I watch a show with my family, but then when that's done I get all numb again. Sometimes I get sad but I cant cry for the life of me. I don't even get horny anymore. Sorry if that's tmi. I don't even have motivation to do things I like, I love retro games more than anything and yet I almost never feel like playing them anymore. I need a hug.