Should I just leave my husband?

Throwaway because this stuff is hard for me and I don’t want my partner knowing I came here to ask this. I’m on my phone so apologies if formatting is weird. Anyway.

My husband, 38M, and I, 31F, have been together since the start of 2017, married since early 2020. When we first met, I was recently out of an abusive relationship. I had no intentions of dating anytime soon but ended up falling for him and we moved in together shortly after. Everything was good at first, we’d get food and watch anime. He was working retail and i was and still am an exotic dancer. Because of our fairly flexible schedules, we were able to spend a lot of time together and often would go to his friends house for get togethers. He’s always had a bit of a short temper but seemed to calm down for a couple of years.

When I turned 25, I had reenrolled in college and have been attending part time since., starting with a class a semester and I am now taking 14 credit hours this semester. I love my job but it is physically draining at times. Because I am an independent contractor, I have flexibility to take time off when I need to focus on an exam prep or project and I am able to make fairly decent money without having a schedule or boss or to have to work for minimum wage.

Eventually my husband got a 9-5 type of job and I think that’s where the issues began. Because he had weekends off and I usually work weekends, our time together took a hit. He would get up around the same time I was heading to bed. I figured we had an understanding that while I was a student, we wouldn’t get as much time together and that I needed the opportunity to sleep in on the weekends. I also told him that when we started dating, I would not quit my job for him. I’ve seen it happen too many times where a dancer leaves the club and they end up resentful and unhappy and usually come back to the club. Plus I love my job, I love my work, my coworkers. The hours suck but I should be done with school (computer science studies) in 2 or 3 semesters now.

The past two years it seems there has been nothing but fighting. We fight so often that I can’t even work on the issues he has brought up. I really am trying my hardest and have a lot on my plate so I can understand that he might feel neglected since we haven’t don’t much together. Any time we fight, he yells which triggers my PTSD and I have a hard time not shutting down or getting defensive. I’ve told him this but he usually yells. He compares me to other “females” (his words) and how “we’re all alike, using men to get ahead and not caring about them”. He constantly brings up breaking up, and it’s lead me to apathy. I’m not interested in chasing someone who wants to leave and if he can’t see that I’m doing the best I can, convincing him to stay will only prolong a breakup. We don’t have kids so the threat of divorce isn’t as heavy as a couple with kids, I figure. I don’t hang out with my friends. I work, go to school, take care of most of the housework (though he disagrees on this), I pay a larger portion of rent because I’ve historically made more so that didn’t bother me but he is still always stressed about money. Taking a vacation would be nice but since he is always worried about money, it’s been too stressful to plan something.

I am not saying that I am perfect, I have flaws that I need to work on and am not always the most receptive to change. I feel like I have so much going on in my personal life that it’s difficult for me to fully empathize but I do try my best. He recently got laid off and today he had a job interview about 1.5 hours from our house. I’ve made it very clear to him that while I am in school, I am not interested in moving away from our town. Should he get a good offer, I’d be willing to do a distance relationship and see each other when we’re able and then when I am done with school, moving to where his job is. He called me after his interview and asked if I’d be able to transfer to the local university where his interview was. I got frustrated as we had discussed this scenario a couple of days ago and it caused a huge fight about how I am not willing to sacrifice for him. I feel we may be at an impasse here. Are we better off not together? Have our goals in life just changed and made us incompatible? I love him a lot and I know he loves me but it seems we’re destined to this circle of fighting and it’s making me (and him) miserable. I feel he now holds contempt for me and I have grown apathetic. Is there any fixing this? What do I do?