Update: Stop hiding behind gender identity!

Thanks to everyone that contributed in my previous thread - most was overwhelming support, I wanted to offer an update on where this went after instead of replying to everyone’s PMs on the subject.

Since the event, I have spoken to X and apologised for my reaction - it was certainly not intentional - and I do really feel bad about it. X understood and apologised as well - he knew he should have told me, but was worried about rejection.

He explained that in the past most guys just stop talking to him when he brings it up, and he decided this time to just not say anything, he said he really liked me, and did not want to ruin our relationship, however knows he was wrong and should have told me right away.

Overall, I still feel bad about the whole situation - but still feel I should have been told the whole story right from the offset.

Responses have been overwhelming positive - however some have been the reverse, and I kind of wanted to express my initial point:

Having a genital preference or a genital requirement is not transphobic, expecting a partner or potential partner to be truthful about their genitals, is not transphobic.

For those that say “you don’t deserve to know what’s between my legs”, I reply with: yes I bloody do! It might not be a big deal for you, but it is for me and many others! If I’m seeking a man, I have a single requirement that I need every potential man to meet, I need to know immediately if they are not going to be met, it’s not difficult, it does not invalidate your gender identity, and just because I’m no longer interested it does not mean I am transphobic!

Thanks for your support all.