ruining my life

i’ve had this condition since i was eleven and im turning twenty four later this year. im so tired of it and im on meds i feel like no matter what i do i cant fix it or do it. i sincerely hate the way i look and am very embarrassed but i still do it. on naltrexone but i cant say it is helping much. i wish i never started as a kid. it started when i was living in rough conditions after my parents divorced. thick strong hair to now fine as baby hair. very bald in some areas. embarrassing. too broke to wear wigs realistically. please help me. any good fav fidget toys out there in this sub? i just now joined but i suffer daily and u aren’t alone at all. started off with split end pulling which lead to pulling and regrowth which lead to new hair patterns from damage like curly wiry hairs. the rest is damage.