Let’s Talk About Black Love: Are Relationships a Priority for Black Men Over 40?

Van and Rachel, I liked the banter today at the top of the segment about the differences between men and women friendships. We need to bring Summit of the Sexes back and consider making it a regular topic on the pod. The dynamic between Black men and Black women is not just relational—it’s deeply relevant for the Higher Learning fam.

Here’s where I’m at: I’m out here trying to find my Black king, but the struggle is REAL! 😫 Middle-aged Black men (shoutout to the over 40 crew) seem laser-focused on financial goals and career moves but don’t seem as invested in cultivating loving, long-term partnerships. If they’re single at this age, this seems to be the common thread.

From my experience, many express that they’re “simple” and don’t need the emotional support women seek—more like “feed me, f*ck me, give me attention” type vibes. But here’s the irony: the right relationship & emotional support could actually help them hit those financial and career goals faster. Statistically, married men tend to thrive more than single men, so what’s the disconnect?

Why do so many men shy away from marriage, vulnerability, and commitment, and then wonder why their relationships don’t last? Is this just me, or is this hitting home for anyone else?

Single Black men, I'm calling on you: Is being in a loving, committed relationship a priority for you? Why or why not? What has been your challenges? I want to hear your thoughts because I know there are Black men out here who value love, vulnerability, and commitment.

But real talk—where are y’all hiding?