Refused to turn on airplane mode-now crashing

So the flight attendants told me to put my phone on airplane mode and I refused because I thought this was America. We got to our cruising altitude, however the porn site I just visited just created such a bandwidth spike that it overloaded the plane's instruments. The autopilot just became self aware, realized what I did inside it, and it's now decending rapidly because it can't live in a world where someone like me exists. One more reason to get a VPN folks.

So anyway, we're all going to die now and my fellow passengers look really annoyed with me. How do I get them to lighten up? Decending at 20,000 feet per minute, so advice needed quickly.