How to be tough

how to not overthink anytime i say anything to someone "naramro sochla ki" and scold someone and not be alik sojho k i'm not sojho but not batho as well. stoic kasari hune i dont believe that self help book is much of a help tara kunai ramro xa vane do recommend or any youtube videos or even advice i want to be ideal type who is calm plus not scared and gali garna sakne