I forgot how to enjoy music

Music has been and continues to be a monumental part of of my life. I try to listen to music all the time, even when i don’t want to listen. However, music is very intertwined with my identity. I am constantly wondering if what i’m listening to is on par with who i am or the persona i’m trying to align with. Furthermore, I get so angry when people show me music. I feel challenged or competitive because i didn’t like the song first or know of the artist.

I don’t think I listen to music for myself anymore. I love music and what it has done for me but i feel i sabotage myself by constant comparison and the elitist mentality i have. I seriously compromised a close friendship because of this.

I don’t know how to enjoy music because it sounds good to me and for no other reason. I want to enjoy music like when you enjoy it as a kid.