Advice being married with mental illness spouse?

Hello everyone, well me 38(m) married to 39(f) for 23 years since we been high school sweethearts. My wife didn't know she has been mentally ill since she was a preteen but she acted out in those years, but then knew something was off when she was 16-17ish from that time to current. There's been a lot of mental illness moments but her and I didn't put 2+2 together until she had a massive breakdown/rock bottom when she was mid 20s caused by her stepdad (now ex stepdad), but her parents never helped or gave a damn about her well-being. They were severe alcoholics. Now her mom is a double leg amputee with Pandoras box of diseases , bedridden and divorced for a few months ago from the stepdad, which he initiated it because of his personal standards. Also caused hardships between her and her mom during her life and mine.(We tried to stay away from them but life made it where we had to move near them) So anyways my wife was finally able to get some help with her bipolar with a regular doctor and physician to get the medication for here mental health about 7 years ago. We do have 3 children 20-16-9. She spirals when major events happen even if they are great(good moments) events and of course the bad events. ATM she is spiraling down her manic depression stage as we had a great event followed by a setback that's causing her to believe Christmas will be a failure to our kids due to financial setbacks. As who I am I always figure out a way to make things happen. Her and our kids therapists say I'm the rock in the family because my head is screwed on tight. Well to be honest I'm currently stumped ATM trying to juggle everything and reassure her that's everything is going to be ok and of course she's being unreasonable causing herself to deconstruct. Sorry for the long rant/story. How do married couples that have a bipolar spouse makes sure they can deescalate their spouse while trying to keep everything sane and calm. Seems like her meds aren't working all of a sudden.(She wants me to be in control of her medicines when I give them to her).

Tl;Dr Wife is in manic stage of her depression with everything going on, what advice would you give me with your experience?