What helps you not be depressed?

I’m 18 months into being diagnosed with MBC. With the business of appointments and structuring a new daily routine, mentally I felt remarkably okay. But lately, thoughts of leaving my loved ones have overwhelmed and nearly paralyzed me. I see a therapist weekly. I talk to friends. STILL, I can’t shake this feeling that I SHOULD be feeling better mentally but I just don’t. I told my therapist yesterday that I want to experience the world differently than how I am currently. I’ve given myself 1,000 pep talks, read blogs, talked a bunch to friends m, meditated…it’s not helping. Do you ever find yourself wanting to change the channel on your experience (not feel like such a victim)? How do you prevent the sadness and weight of the diagnosis from overtaking you in the present?