How do you find yourself and deal with loneliness after leaving your narcissistic person?

I was raised by a nMom and my dad committed suicide from her abuse. I hid and ran into my room my whole life, dissociating constantly. Now I’m in my late 20s and don’t know who I am and have no deep connections with others. I’m NC with my enabler brother, aunt and pretty much entire family. I don’t feel good being close to others, and can’t relate to having even friends. Overall I don’t feel like a human being, because I believe nobody truly cared about me my entire life.

I want to change all that and become functional. I do all the normal things, my social skills are ok, but I feel like I lack any deep relationships with anyone. I ran away and have been travelling for over a year with my own money. But I have nobody or nothing to live for.

How do you construct or discover a personality when you’re way behind other people? It’s a big question, but I’ve done therapy and “graduated”, but I just don’t have a reason to live - there’s nothing particularly meaningful to me. It’s really hard.