It was psychosomatic.

Usually when you hear a doctor say psychosomatic, you feel gaslit. Like they're saying it's all in your head. Part of me didn't want to believe it when I heard it, but the other part of me was open to it. Psychosomatic symptoms are real. But LPR is also real.

They did an endoscopy and found absolutely nothing. Not a single ulcer, polyp, or inflammation. I asked for more tests, and they said no. I was angry and upset, and determined that it was a tangible problem. But I also decided to try to talk to a psychiatrist. I was willing to try everything at this point.

My psychiatrist said it was caused by extreme stress & anxiety. and before all of this started, i was at one of the worst periods of my life. So, this made sense to me. He told me that he was almost certain that anti anxiety medications would help me.

So, I gave it a shot. I tried an antidepressant and it made me feel like a zombie. He took me off of those and we tried something else. I slowly started to be able to eat things again. Now, I eat chocolate, tomato's, even spicy stuff sometimes. I got off of the PPIs completely (that was completely hellish on its own, but i'm better now).

I noticed that when i'm stressed, I do have symptoms sometimes, but far more manageable. My life is no longer a living hell. I can go out to eat with my partner and not stress over the menu. I can eat treats or snacks at gatherings and not worry about it ruining the day or evening.

I think the point of me posting this is not to dismiss the possibility of your symptoms being physical, because that's a very real possibility. The point is, that it gets better, and that psychosomatic symptoms are real, and doctors aren't always gaslighting you when they suggest that.

It took me more than 2 years to get to this point. The symptoms were the worst symptoms i've ever had. Excruciating. I was extremely miserable. But after lots of therapy, meds, lifestyle changes, i'm better. I hope that can happen to you too. I know how miserable this shit is and I'm so sorry that you know what it's like.

I wish you all healing. Relief. A break. Whatever the cause is, I hope that you find a solution.

Edit: The medication that changed everything for me is called buspirone! If you're wondering.

Another edit: Another user pointed out that clear endoscopy does not mean no LPR, and this is true! It's why i asked for more testing. My doctors just happened to be right in this particular situation. I'd advise everyone to get as much testing as you can, while simultaneously working on your mental health whether that be meds, therapy, yoga, etc.