An open letter to the misogynists and patriarchs on this sub.

Whew! My last 4 or 5 posts here have really brought out the wolves. I have responded as much as I could in the threads but allow me to take this time to send out one massive response to all of you.

First, do note that the title clearly says “misogynists and patriarchs”. You know what it doesn’t say? “Men”. So if you feel called out, or feel a need to defend yourself in this thread, well then with all the Texas drawl I can muster, if the boot fits is really all I can say to that. Now with that out of the way….

Nothing in the Bible commands the oppression and the subjugation of women. Just like nothing in the Bible commands segregation, just like nothing in the Bible condemns trans folks. There’s a passage in Deuteronomy that talks about building an outhouse. Basically the rule was you would need to build an outhouse on the outside of your camp. It tells you specifically how to build it, where to put it, and how to upkeep it. This is so that if God were to come dwell in your camp, if your outhouse was inside your camp, God would not come in. If you wanted God to come into your camp you had to have your outhouse outside of it.

In the 1800s when indoor plumbing became popular, churches who didn’t want to pay for those upgrades in their buildings used this passage in Deuteronomy to essentially say “but God said we were supposed to build outhouses. Clearly indoor plumbing is from the devil”. In other words they twisted and maneuvered God’s words to mean what they wanted them to mean in order to justify what they in their hearts already wanted to do. It is not a case of divine ordination, but rather of selfish ambition. They, like a lot of folks today, have successfully created God in their own image. As one person put it, you can safely know you’ve successfully made God in your own image, when it happily and coincidentally turns out that God hates all the same people that you do.

There is nothing in the Bible about abortion. The Bible does say wives submit to your husbands but literally the very next text says husbands cherish and treasure your wives and listen to her complaints. But you guys NEVERRRRRRR quote that part. Because contrary to what yall accuse me of doing, yall ACTUALLY have an agenda.

I figure this post will ruffle feathers, because if there’s one thing a misogynist hates, it’s being called out and stood up to. If there’s one thing in this world a misogynist hates more than that, it’s being called out and stood up to by a woman. The horror!

Jesus was a feminist of his time. He made a habit of plucking women out of the confines of oppression and using us for good. He used US to be the very first to lay eyes on the empty tomb, know what it meant and testify to the resurrection. But no one believed us until a man said it. Even the men were like “well, someone probably stole his body. You gals are just hysterical and hormonal, as usual”. It wasn’t until a man said what women HAD BEEN saying that finally everyone was like “well dang, I guess he’s actually alive! Whoda thunk!”

And now, yall have the audacity to take these beautiful vessels of God and oppress us, subjugate us, beat us down, and when one of us gets brave enough to say our piece for once we must quickly be reminded of our place and put back in it, because that sort of thing simply can’t be allowed to fester and take hold, right guys?

Let me be clear. There is nothing unmanly about being a feminist. In fact I would argue it’s much more manly than ascribing to so called “alpha male” ideals, thinking expressing your emotions or holding your wife make you weak, or whatever nonsense.

The truth is many men simply cannot handle women. That is why they seek to oppress. That is why I had commenter after commenter on my post about Texas wanting to end no fault divorce, saying that it is a good thing, because otherwise women would just keep leaving because we’re not happy.

Read that back to yourself slowly. These people, rather than putting in the work to see what they can do to be better husbands and men and make us happy and keep us, they seek to change laws so that we are literally unable to get away from them. Despite all their bloviating they do not care about our happiness. If your wife is happy, that’s probably just a bonus, MAYBE. But it is not required by these sorts of men. All they require is to have someone. And if they have to keep a woman locked in an unhappy or even abusive marriage because putting in the work to be a better husband is just too dang hard? Then so be it.

These people claim to speak for God. They claim well it’s not really them saying it, it’s God saying it. Because they are cowards. They know it’s a terrible take and they can’t even own it so they have to try to put it on God. Much like those churches in the 1800s blaming Deuteronomy, and churches during the civil rights movement blaming Deuteronomy and yet other biblical texts for why actually segregation is God mandated, these patriarchal Christians today are exactly the same. God never said a single bit of this. But they twist it to look as though he did.

This will come back to bite you. Already women aren’t wanting to marry. Already women are following the South Korean women with their 4B movement. Already women at large are swearing off men. Do these Conservative christian men suddenly wake up into self reflection? Do they suddenly go buy a mirror and do some honest reflection? Of course not. We must end no fault divorce. Because women just leave when we aren’t happy. We must ban abortion, because women will just not have kids if we don’t want to and birth rates are falling.

It wasn’t that long ago that women weren’t allowed to work or have credit cards. It wasn’t that long ago when no fault divorce wasn’t a thing, and basically the only way to get divorced was for a woman to prove abuse or infidelity, using this same type of so called biblical nonsense.

I’m going to tell you why it’s stupid. I watched my mother be abused (and I and my sister and 2 brothers along with her) by my stepdad for 13 years. He wasn’t that way before they married, for all of you “maybe stop being stupid and pick better men” folks. You will NEVER understand or get it. 13 years. The police got called to our house many times. But they always said the same thing. They couldn’t do anything to this step so called dad of mine unless she agreed to press charges. And they didn’t so much as take her out of the room before they asked her.

So this woman, this trembling battered wife who called the police for help, wanted to force her to go on record in front of her abuser. She always folded, and they left without arresting him. Every time, she “paid the price” for calling them in the first place. Thankfully, now with no fault divorce and similarly minded protections for women, this kind of absolute travesty doesn’t really happen anymore. But rest assured it’s the world the misogynists want to go back to. They don’t want us to be free to leave. And they see nothing wrong with trapping a woman in a marriage she no longer wants to be in and possibly never wanted to be in.

You want to force women to take the stand and face their literal abuser, when she already fears for her life which is why she wanted to leave in the first place. Or maybe it’s not that bad yet but the writing is on the wall. She’s asked him to get counseling but he swears he’s fine and it keeps getting worse. These protections exist for a reason. And these misogynists want to take them away FOR A REASON.

And just like back then, they are cowards and seek to pin it on God, because they can’t even own their own bad takes. It’s easy to say “well it’s not me, that’s what the Bible says. Take it up with God”.

We’re not going back. That is one thing I and most women agreed with Kamala Harris on. We’re not. We’re just not. We’ve come too far over too long of a time. We will fight to the death, until the bitter end. We will fight to the last woman. Until there are none of us left standing. Make no mistake about it, women did not declare this war. Men did. All we asked of you, ALL we asked of you was to listen to us, take our feelings to heart, be better men, boyfriends and husbands. And this is how they responded. This.

Don’t put this on God. Own it. Own your bigotry and misogyny and just admit the kind of man you are. Be proud of it. I’d respect you more. Then again, I suppose the last thing the men I’m calling out on this care about is respect from a WOMAN.

Again, I am talking to misogynists and patriarchs, not “men”. If you feel called out, then the boot must fit. You should probably examine that and figure out why you’re so worked up about it. Get yourself some mental help and work on your mental health. Iron out your emotions and learn to process them. But you won’t. Because blaming women for all your problems and saying God is the one who told you to do it is all you really want to do about it.

This has been happening since the literal beginning. God didn’t tell Eve not to eat the fruit. He told Adam and he told Adam to tell her. When the fruit was eaten God didn’t go to Eve he went to Adam. When God asked Adam “why did you eat the one fruit I specifically told you NOT to eat?” Adam didn’t even bother defending himself or offering up an excuse. “But God, that woman you gave me!”

And it’s only gotten worse since. Hear me now, women are done putting up with it. You’ll literally have to make even more new laws and force us to marry you. But you probably want to do that anyway. Go ahead and be yourself, and say proudly what you really think of us and stop pinning it on God like a coward. Because I frankly don’t think he likes that very much. Us women certainly don’t.

EDIT: All the men here with their comments like “but what about all the stuff women do to men?”… you prove my point for me, so thank you for that. It never fails, anything to get the spotlight off yourself and avoid having to examine your own actions and reconcile with what you’ve become. A post about a woman who was raped, 90% of comments from men are “but men get raped too!” Sure, but this post isn’t about that. Stop trying to hijack something that’s about women and making it about yourselves like yall ALWAYS do and go and make your own post.

You can’t even stop for long enough to examine yourselves for five whole seconds. You’re doing exactly what Adam did in genesis. No woman should abuse any man either in any shape or form. But a post about the misogyny running rampant in Christianity is not the time or place to bring that up.