I Feel Like I Won’t Find a Good Christian Man Because of My Past

TW: SA

I’m 23F. I feel like I’ll never find a good Christian man who truly loves me because of my past. I was SA’d as a college freshman. Afterward, I had a 4-year relationship which a non-Christian and we were physically intimate. I really thought he was the one I’d marry one day, but we are now separated. I was a non-Christian while we were together, but I have returned to the faith.

I feel like a lot Christian men only want virgin women (I know a lot of them are not this way) and so I feel like I’ll never find a man who loves me and is willing to marry me. My own father solidified this belief in my mind when I told him about my SA. He said I was damaged goods and no longer “pure.” He suggested it would be harder for me to find a man because of what happened to me.

I’ve always just wanted to marry a good man who loves me. I’m absolutely destroyed/sickened by my past and I feel like I’ll never be truly loved or any guy that did marry me (not that it will happen) will always look down on me or resent me for my past.

Are there any Christian women here with similar backgrounds who could prove me wrong? If you’re a Christian man, would you marry a woman like me despite what I’ve been through?

Please remove this post if not allowed.

Prayers would be appreciated as well. Thank you ❤️

EDIT: Wow, I’m absolutely overwhelmed. So many of you have been so kind and encouraging to me. I have hope for the future. To those of you who have been kind and encouraging, I want to truly thank you. I didn’t expect to receive so many comments, so I lost the ability to respond to them all. But as of this edit, I’ve read every single response. Thank you all. ❤️