Realisation I’m not straight

Hi All,

I’m 29M and I’ve recently had an event where it’s pretty much confirmed to me I’m not straight.

I’ve always been interested in a mix of porn types, but never really had a crush on a man before, so haven’t really thought much of it.

Recently at a work conference I met a colleague who started a conversation with me and he kept looking down at my body. The conversation seemed to flow easily and he was taking quite a big interest in my life. He had a bit of a feminine voice and I stereotypically thought he may be gay.

At the evening meal we sat next to each other and a few times our legs touched under the table as he sat quite close. He also seemed to have quite a bit of nervous energy as his other leg was shaking under the table. We shared a menu at the Chinese and I said I was unsure and he was leant across recommending food on what he thought was nice or that I should try.

It drove me crazy, and I started having strong feelings. I kept randomly bumping into him over the conference, and I couldn’t get out of my head that it may be destiny and something was going to happen (I’ve been out of the dating game for awhile).I bumped into him again after the conference, but when talking he mentioned he had a girlfriend, which made me feel a bit frustrated with myself.

This has really made me question my sexuality and where to go from here. Does anyone have any advice on how best to approach questioning my sexuality? I quite want some advice and feel like I want someone to talk to about these things, but I’m not ready to come out to my current friends yet. Annoyingly I’ve not got any friends that are gay/out so I feel somewhat alone trying to process these things!

Anyone got any similar stories?

Thanks, Matt