I’m a cisgender actor who might be potentially offered to play a trans role

Hello! This is complicated.

I live my life as a cisgender woman. I’m an actor and I just got to the final round of callbacks for a play that’s kind of a big deal. Anyway, they want me to read for a character who is questioning their gender but likely not cis. I haven’t decided whether I’m cis or not. I use she/they pronouns and both feel fine to me. I’m not sure if I can claim membership in the GNC camp.

But nobody really knows this about me. Idk. They want me to read for this character who really feels like it should be played by a trans actor. The character really insists that they are “not a girl.” And while I can relate very much to the character, I’m not particularly insistent on not being a girl. I’m pretty neutral on it.

But that said, what everyone else would see is a cis person playing a trans character and that is something I’ve been vocal about not supporting. I’ve also had trans friends who are unaware of my situation tell me they think it would be a bad idea for me to accept the role. I’m not “out” to anything because, quite frankly, I haven’t any clue WHAT’S in the closet. I don’t want to come out just so I can play a role and be able to sleep at night knowing I didn’t break my moral code that trans characters should be played by trans actors. It’s like having my cake and eating it too.

But I really, REALLY want to be in this show. It’s kind of a big deal and would be an ENORMOUS step in my career. Meanwhile, if I don’t accept the role, I’m burning a bridge. But if I do accept it idk if I could live with myself after.

And what if I turn out to be cis? Idk. Thoughts