I'm tired of people giving me reality checks.

Every other day I come across some friend, cousin or relative trying to tell me how I need to tone down my unrealistic expectations when it comes to arranged marriage, because I'm aging, going bald etc. And at the same time, some of these people had said that I can find someone better when I had expressed an interest towards some match in the past.

And when I bring that up, they get irritated that I'm still talking about the past matches. But it's alright when they talk about the past matches that I had rejected. It feels like that people are just saying stuff for the sake of it, without thinking anything.

If I take them up on their argument, which is ultimately to reconsider those matches where the girl was interested in me (even though I wasn't)... "Should I marry even if I don't feel anything for the girl?", their answer is that it's your decision. It's like, if they don't want to be a part of that decision... then why even pretend to care. Can't they just mind their own business then? I have not approached them to help me out with my search.

Also, I'm really tired of people who feel obligated to tell me harsh realities of life... how life is shit being single, it's also shit for people who are married, people who have kids, etc etc. I have stopped talking to all such friends and family. I know how to be at peace with myself, I don't need all this. I have started actively avoiding all such advices about harsh realities of life, or whatever responsibility of a man in society etc etc. I once posed the question that "Who is Society, where are they?"... and the answer was the people who live in my native place. Who really have nothing to do with anything in my day to day life.

I have declared at my home that if I get married, it'll be for me (and not for whatever ideas they have about society, responsibility etc). I have been told that I'm just looking for a pretty face, and I have no shame about that ( I did correct them that it's "a face that I find pretty", which is very subjective ). Because I know if I didn't have any physical needs, I wouldn't need to get married... I'd be okay with myself.

Also I've been told that I'm shallow and I should be looking for emotional connection, I don't know what that is. And it's not my fault that I never experienced that, so I shouldn't be expected to know what that is.

I am also frustrated that no matter what I do, I'm always hurting someone.

• If I don't get married, my mother says she can never be at peace. And also for whatever reason, this decision of mine affect my entire family. My younger brother will have trouble in AM, it'll make our family look bad in the community, which doesn't make sense... "my community" don't even know I exist, because we lived away from our native place my entire life... my family is as anti-social as I am. Although we are trying to be more social since starting this AM process.
• If I do get married, then there is this thing of my wife having to leave her house and stay with me and my mom, girls object to that because its unfair... I don't know how else to do it, if I talk about me going to the girls house to stay with her... then my family isn't okay with that, girls themselves aren't okay with that, neither the girls parents' are (i'm making a general statement based on conversations I had with friends who are women and the girls I met for AM).
• The Indian law system and the people in general makes it hard to stay single in this country. I won't be able to rent a place because I'm a "bachelor". And for some reason, everyone I come across (from autowaale bhaiya, tailors, office colleagues) are interested in knowing why I'm not married yet... and that I'm balding so I should hurry. These are passing comments, and they don't bother me as much as the renting system... and the tax.

I am looking for a job outside India, so if I get a chance I'll leave and never look back. But Indians have made a name for themselves in foreign countries, and the local people in western countries want us gone... so that's also going to be fun.

I just want to live my life peacefully, and not bother anyone else. It's just so hard to do that, when people around me are troubled by my very existence.