I have doubts about my current partner.

I'm 29f, and my partner is 31m.

We met shortly after I kicked out my abusive ex and though the both of us weren't looking for a relationship we clicked and decided to be in a relationship under the condition that we would both still work on our individual issues.

He's kind and caring while still giving me enough space, and overall I'm happy but there's something that keeps bothering me and I want to know if I'm overreacting due to my ex being an abusive person.

He has adhd, just like me, and though I do get along with younger people, I never dated anyone unreasonable younger than me, he however has never dated anyone over the age of 23 before me.

He makes jokes and comments every now and then about me being old, dumping me when I turn 30 next year, and about "wanting a toy," referring to someone extra who is younger.

He jokes about everything and anything usually and plays these off as jokes, too, but due to his dating history, I do doubt if this is a red flag I perhaps shouldn't ignore.

If he makes these remarks, I do het opset or mad every now and then, and from time to time, he does reassure me, but it keeps nagging in the back of my mind.

On the other side, I think I should also mention that he has severe attachement issues, and has shown me he is serious about me and had mentioned he hasn't ever had anything remotely this serious.

EDIT 1: I just read your comments last night, and since he works today I prepare to discuss this tomorrow. Thank you all for your comments.

To clarify some things, 1: his last relationship was 2 months before me, and they had been on again off again for a few years since this was asked by someone. 2: something I didn't mention wich makes me doubt at time how I should take this aswell is that I look quite younger than my actual age.

So far I've never been guessed anything over 23 as I have good genes and take good care of myself.

To the people who have commented, it might be a defense mechanism, I have a feeling you're correct, but I'll let you all know in a next edit if this is correct.

For the comments saying it might be truth he disguises, I'll keep your warnings in mind, but as I haven't seen him around other women, for now it's not something I see as truth. Though he isn't the kind of man who gets me flowers (he doesn't want to gift me something that'll die) he has always treated me well, and whenever he did see something made me emotional he always apoligized and looked for ways to fix the issue, because he hates to see me cry.

This is it for now, I'll be back in a few days with another update.

Final update:

So sorry I forgot about this post, a few days after the last update we ended up ending the relationship. It was over something unrelated and we are still on good terms, but we ended being a couple and I have taken most of my things home in the meantime.